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Director:	Greg & Colin Strause.
Name:	AVPR: Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem
Starring:	Steven Pasquale, Reiko Aylesworth, John Ortiz

AVPR: Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem

by Will Jennison (05/02/2008)

While I had heard that this movie was about as much fun to watch as having your eyes poked out, roasted on an open fire, then feed back to you, I decided that after the tongue lashing everybody gave the first one that surely lessons must have been learned and this one couldn't be as bad. In fairness, lessons have been learnt and it isn't as bad.

AVPR: Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem, for that is its official and ridiculously long name, why they decided to abbreviate it at the start of it is somewhat perplexing, maybe they were going for some sort of long named film record or something. But I'm digressing, AVPR: Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem picks up from where the slightly less of a mouthfull to say AVP: Aliens vs. Predator left off. With a Predalien (that's an Alien combined with a Predator, not to be confused with the Predator aliens) being born on a Predator ship leaving earths orbit. One can only assume that there has been a scene cut, possibly for pacing issues, where the Predators stopped off for some fried chicken at some sort of intergalactic fast food space station located in Earths orbit. Otherwise I'm at a loss as to explain why the Predalien is an ickle baby Alien one minute then it's fully grown the next. Anyway the Predalien, possibly upset about not being offered any chicken, slaughters the Predator crew and the Predator ship crash lands in Jerkswater USA where upon lots of Alien face huggers escape the ship and run off. Oh noes!
As the Predator ship goes down a message is sent back to some Predator chap, lets call him Bob as I'm confusing myself with typing Predalien and Predator so much, Bob gets a bit annoyed that the ship has crashed as his homies were picking him up a Mega Bucket and now they've only gone and got themselves eaten by Aliens! So mumbling to himself he sets off to Earth.
Oh sorry I probably should have warned you, that was the plot. Yup all of it. Sorry.

The human cast in this film are terrible, their whole role in the film seems to be that they are victims in a bad slasher film consequently you just couldn't care about them. Yes the Alien and Predator films are essentially horror/action horror but the characters where properly developed and you cared about them, in this film they're just sacks of meat walking round waiting to be killed. Although in credit to them some do tend to die rather spectacularly although there are still a lot of cut a ways. As your watching them you can't help but wonder what our mate Predator Bob is doing.

Predator Bob, despite having no lines of dialogue and wearing a mask manages to out act the entire human cast. Bob really does kick arse in this movie he's actually probably my favorite Predator from any of the films, although not as sneaky as the others he does defiantly have the coolest moves. Although worryingly he also seems to have some form of OCD as whenever he sees evidence of Alien activity e.g. dead bodies, Alien snot ect. He has a compunction to clean it up with some strange blue goo. At first I thought this might be some sort of sub plot about Predators wanting to hid the existence of Aliens and keep his being there a secrete from humans but I gave up this theory when he started skinning people alive and shooting up the place.

Anyway for those of you who can't be bothered reading all that here's a handy summing up paragraph. Basically AVPR: Aliens vs. Predator - Requiems plot sucks harder then your mum. However if you're more interested in blood and violence you could do a lot better then AVPR: Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem. Its ok I suppose. Which is it's problem. It's ok. When given the wealth of information of the AVP universe anybody could of made a good Aliens vs. Predator film. I mean the first mistake was it's unnecessary setting in "current day" America. It should be in the proper AVP time line you know, around about the time of Aliens. Next the plot should go:
Ship crashes on remote mining colony, Aliens escape, Predator arrives, Havoc ensues, Colonial marines get called in, mayhem and chaos, get the hero/heroine to get in one of those Military Exo skeleton suits from the game (if you haven't played the game it's like the lifter from Aliens that Ripley uses but with guns....lots of guns.). Hang on I should probably write this down and sell it.....

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